When does dating become a relationship?
1. How long should you date before going
Generally 1-3 months
Some people can become exclusive in their dating relationship very quickly, perhaps even on the first date. But generally, most people take between 1 to 3 months. If somebody is not willing to be exclusive after 3 months, they probably are never going to be ready. However, it’s not just a factor of time, there are certain things you really need to experience in your relationship before you can really have confidence about being exclusive, as you will see in the following paragraphs.
You see their social life (who they are without you)
Went people are dating, they often show their best sides and hide their worst. That’s quite natural, however, you need to know the whole person you’re dating, warts and all before you can have a successful relationship. Knowing them on just the casual level dating level is insufficient.
really helpful if you can see them in a social context with their own
friends. You want to see what they’re like when you’re not around.
Now that’s not really possible without spying on somebody, but if you
see the person with their friends, you will see how they are when
they’re in their most relaxed less least guarded state. If you can
accept that unguarded person, you are ready for a relationship. And
vice versa is true as well. Do they know and accept the real,
You see their weaknesses and still love them
Another important factor before going exclusive is that you want to be able to see that person’s weaknesses. We all know that sometimes we idealize people, especially if we fall in love with them. Suddenly, all we can do is sing their praises and if anybody even mentions a bad point, we reject that person. But to have a successful relationship, you need to deal with the reality that everybody has weaknesses. You need to be able to see these weaknesses and then decide if you really can put up with that person on a long-term basis. If you can’t list your loved one’s weakness, and they yours, then you aren’t ready for a relationship.
You want the same things in a relationship
A relationship is not just about chemistry- that can happen in an instant. We know that opposites attract, that’s some of the basis for human chemistry. However, people who are two opposites often fail to stay together. They find that their differing wants needs and desires pull them in opposite ways because they lack some necessary things in common and they need to have some differing goals in life and especially in the relationship.
Instead, a relationship is about creating the future together. If over time, you can see that you have a lot of things in common and that you want your lives and the relationship to go in the same direction, you have a very strong basis for moving beyond dating.
You’ve met each other’s parents
Before you can really say you’re in a relationship, you need to meet each other’s families. If you’re younger than 30, you especially need to meet their parents. A person’ relationship with their parents can greatly affect their relationship with the person they are getting serious with.
And if you’re dating when you’re older, you need to meet their children, if any, because they will be greatly impacted when their parent begins a new relationship. If you haven’t done that yet, you are should not rush into in a relationship. And if they don’t want you to meet their family, that is clear warning sign the relationship will have problems in the future.
You are not looking for another person to date
If you are not yet exclusive, if you’re still dating other people or perhaps you are still checking out people on dating apps, if you’re still very eager and open to a date other people, then you’re definitely not ready for a relationship yet. The same goes for the person you’re dating, if they’re still keeping their options open, it’s really not the time for a relationship yet. A successful relationship requires monogamy – see below.
You spend more time with them than anyone else
If you are dating and you only see each other once in a while, it’s very difficult to create a successful relationship, since this requires a lot of time together. Thus, if you are spending a lot of time together, that is a sign that you are ready for a deeper level of commitment in a relationship. If for some reason the person you’re dating is not willing to spend a lot of time with you, that’s a good sign they’re not ready for a relationship.
You can envision a future together
Can you see your life together five years from now? if you can’t do that, then you’re not ready for a relationship. You’ll still need to work on establishing who you are as a couple. While its true that not everyone is future-oriented, successful relationships become stronger over time- and you both need the commitment to put in the effort now that will be rewarded later.
3. Dating vs. Relationship: What’s the difference
The biggest difference between dating and relationship is the level of commitment. A relationship is often a half-step toward marriage which is the biggest commitment of all. Without commitment, there is no marriage are there is no relationship. Dating can be just for fun, but a relationship needs to continue even after the fun fades away.
When you’re in a relationship, you have to have a certain amount of exclusivity where you don’t see other people, sexually or romantically. When you’re dating it’s okay to date several different people, but if you try to do that in a relationship, it’s called cheating and does tremendous damage. That’s why you need to be monogamous.
When you’re in a relationship, you no longer can completely control all your choices. You can no longer live just to please yourself. You now have another person that you need to please. This is best called mutual submission. This means that you voluntarily limit your freedom, even giving the other person a certain veto over your life and your actions. And they voluntarily give you a veto over theirs. This submission can be forces, yet if both people refuse to submit to each other, then the relationship will lead to unhappiness and acrimony.
A loving relationship requires self-sacrifice. When you’re dating, you can focus mostly on what’s to your benefit. But in a relationship, you need to be willing to suffer for the other person’s benefit and they need to do the same for you. If both of you are willing to sacrifice for the relationship and for the other person’s benefit, then you can have a very successful relationship, if not your relationship will be doomed by selfishness.
4.How to make it official
Sometimes, you just know without words
Some people sort of drift into a relationship. They never say out loud that their dating has transitioned into a relationship. That’s fine as long as both people have that same way of thinking; however, often that doesn’t happen. In that case, it’s really important for you to discuss with your partner that you want to make a clear passage from“just dating” to a “relationship” and the level of a commitment, monogamy, sacrifice, and submission that these entail.
Keep it light
Remember that this is not a marriage proposal; this discussion can be kept very light in case the other person isn’t ready to discuss it. You should express what you’re feeling and what you’re thinking and then discover if the other person is thinking and feeling the same way. If they are, now you are ready for the relationship. And that’s usually a good sign that the relationship will be smooth.
Sometimes, however, one person is more desirous of the relationship than the other and then their goal becomes to convince the other person. But there is a danger that if you put too much pressure on the other person, that’s going to hinder any future relationship. Sometimes the other person is willing to step up their commitment and begin their relationship when you lay it out lay out your feelings and reasons for them. On the other hand, the person that you are dating may not be willing to make a commitment now or in the future. In that case, you should adjust your expectations and possibly move on.
Once you both agree on recognizing what you have as a relationship, an important step is to announce it to your family, to your friends, and to the online world that follows you. If that is an issue for one or both of you, then that is a signal that you’re still not ready for a relationship. The idea of a secret commitment is going to bring a whole host of relationship problems, so it’s best just to clearly and openly announce to everybody that you now have a relationship. Also, go out and celebrate!