Should the man pay for dates?

The one rule you need

Modern life is complicated and full of endless variation, but if there is one constant in dating it is that the man is still expected to pay. This, of course, is not always true, but the exceptions prove the rule. Whatever, expectations and promises that exist in the relationship, the man should always bring enough money to pay for the entire evening’s expenses.

What women really want

what they a woman will offer to pay, but when the check comes, you still get the bill. That is because women are caught between two competing ideologies. The first is that men and women are equal, thus the woman should her fair share of the dating bills. The second is the women deserve to be put on a pedestal and treated like princesses. Obviously, most women would like to have both of these ideas be true. They are equal to every man and yet spoiled by their man.

Unfortunately, many women are under considerable cultural pressure to internalize society’s conflicting messages about women deserving both equality with men and privilege from men. As such, they often do not know what they should do when dating and they are equally uncertain how men should behave. This inner conflict often leads to messy dating situations where the men get blamed for being unable to give womenboth equality and privilege. These conflicted women oftendisappointed with both men and dating in general.

Payment as a signifier

In order for you to impress a woman fully, you have to insist that she is as a capable as you (and every man) all the while you spoil her rotten. Toward that end, even when a woman offers to pay the bill, the man should insist that it is his honor to pay for her. Taking care of her is his privilege, even if she has more wealth and prestige than he does.

Throughout history, women have expected men to protect and provide for them while they, in turn, manage the domestic scene. Even though there is much talk about women’s equality, society cannot overturn millennia of history as easily as changing a history textbook. In spite of whatever women champion in the streets and at the polls, the vastmajority of women and their parents want the man to prove that he canprovide before he can be considered for a serious relationship.Hence, when a man pays for dates, he signifies that he is bothwilling and able to provide for his woman.

Is dating really a good deal for men?

Thatis an excellent question. Think of dating as a game. For the most part, it’s the only game available for single men and women to get together to have fun and build relationships. Can you, gentlemen, afford to play the dating game where you pay for the date while the woman gets most of the benefits? If, so, then dating may be for you.

If you can’t afford it, then maybe some alternative dating methods will be up your alley. is a growing class of men who opt out get together altogether. Presumably, they sit at home watching sports most part video games, enjoying all the money they save from not dating. And sadly, there is a final group of men sitting on the sidelines wondering why they can never get a date.

Somewhat surprisingly, many men find paying for their date a satisfying pleasure rather than a thankless burden. They enjoy taking care of their date and would not have it any other way. Ladies take note that if are lucky enough to date such a man, do not take his generous provision lightly. Showing gratitude is the least you can do torespond to such a gentleman.

The man pays

In the past, tradition dictated that the man pays for the date and the woman controlled how much affecting to gave him in return. That was a practical method because men tended to have better and higher paying jobs than women. Thus, they could afford to pay for dates while women could not. Many men used their financial advantages to pressure women into accepting their sexual advances. The more the man paid, the more he expected to be paid back in affection.

This tradition is still controlling people’s dating expectations, even though women now make comparable pay with men for the same work. Thus, even if the woman makes more, she still expects the man to pay for the date. Many, if not most women will be offended if they have to pay for dates with men and will not consider going on a second date with these “deadbeat dates”. However, now women are morethan willing to rebuff a man who presumes that paying for dates earnshim her affection.

Go Dutch

There are several alternative dating methods, especially when the man has limited funds for dating. The first is to “Go Dutch”, which means that each person pays for their own expenses. Originally, the phrase was used as an ethnic insult to the Dutch in America who were considered “cheap” hosts. Rather than pay for everyone, as custom dictated, the Dutch, who were quite sophisticated in trade and finance during the days of colonization, would ask everyone to pay for themselves, saving the Dutch hosts quite a bit of money,especially when people of other cultures would continue to pay the full bill when it was their time to host a meal.

Anyway, when the expenses are high or when the man has limited funds, going Dutch may be the way to successfully date. However, many women do not consider this a real date. To them, it is more like friends, hanging out or networking. Even so, some women are willing to go Dutch because they really want to date men who may have limited funds. Mostoften, people who are already in a relationship where their wealth isrelatively equal are most willing to share dating expenses.

The woman pays

Another alternative dating method is where the woman pays for the entire date. Most women will not consider this an option, especially not a romantic option. However, some women are determined to give up their privileges in order to live consistently with their belief that women must prove themselves equal in men in all things. There arewillingto pay for the man on dates to prove that they do not need men to betheir providers.

Additionally, some women are so wealthy, and their tastes are so expensive that few men can even afford to treat them to a good time. While many wealthy single women would love to date equally wealthy men, the truth is that most wealthy men prefer to date women who will be impressed by the man’s wealth and thankful for his largess on her behalf. So, many successful women end up either not dating at all, or dating poorer men and paying the full tab.

Decide before the date

In order to avoid any dating disasters, it is important to know who is going to pay before the date begins. If a man is afraid to discuss payment before a date, then he must assume full responsibility for the bills. Occasionally, a man will go on a first date and send the woman a bill for her share of the expenses later. These men should not expect a second date.

A point of advice for you ladies is that if you really want to pay some or all of the date’s expenses, you can and should make it clear before the date begins, so the man you are dating will not get mixed signals and assume that you are testing him. In such a case of misunderstanding, he may insist on paying, even to the point of putting money directly in your purse.

The bottom line

The purpose of dating is to have fun and possibly find a compatible person whom you can have a relationship with. So, by all means, have fun regardless of who pays for the date. If you and your date enjoy the traditional method of the man paying, then just do it. And if you like traditional dating, but you can’t afford it, then you will have to be super-creative on your dates and find a woman who appreciates your situation. Furthermore, if you don’t like this method, try an alternative, such as going Dutch or having the woman pay.

Finally, even when your dates don’t work out due to differing dating desires, you can still consider yourself a dating success as you are avoiding getting into a relationship with someone who is incompatible with you. And finding a compatible partner is what the end game of dating is all about. A traditional gentleman will be most happy finding a traditional lady. A less than wealthy man will be most happy with a woman who doesn’t expect the man to provide everything for her. And a self-made woman will be most happy with a man who is not trying to treat her as his lesser half.

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