Meeting your girlfriend’s parents: What to do and how to do it

1. What do parents want for their daughter?

Before you meet your girlfriend’s parents, it’s best to try to understand their perspective on what you can do for their daughter. We know that they want their daughter to be happy which for this essay can be identified as a combination of health, prosperity, and security. So make it your goal to convince your parents and hers that you can currently provide for her happiness or that as a couple, you two can eventually achieve that happiness together.

Are you going to help their daughter be physically, mentally and spiritually healthy? To do that, you must have a healthy lifestyle yourself. Basically, stay in shape, avoid risky and addictive behavior, and live a life of self-control. Then your girlfriend’s parents will want you to spend time with their daughter, especially if they think that you can be a good example for her.

What can you do to help make their daughter prosperous? They want a man for their daughter who has a good job, a house and money saved in the bank. You may not have all that yet, but your girlfriend’s parents will be looking to see if you have this prosperous potential. If you don’t have any expectation of prosperity, then you must excel in other areas. Check out every Bon Jovi song for inspiration.

Next, they will look for security. Do you make her parents feel that you can protect their daughter? Are you strong, confident, capable and stable? Make your girlfriend feel safe both from you (don’t threaten or abuse her) and through you (protect her life and honor zealously). This will make her parents feel that their daughter is safer with you than any other guy, and you will certainly win their approval.

One last thing- parents naturally worry about losing their daughter. Are you going to force her to choose between you and them? Is your race, religion or culture so different from theirs that it creates a wedge and they feel like their daughter is becoming a different person to please you? Make them secure by showing them that you support a close, loving relationship between her and them, just as you(hopefully) have with your parents.


2. What do you call your girlfriend’s parents?

When you meet your girlfriend’s parents for the first time, it’s very important that you get off on the right foot by being polite and somewhat formal. So it’s good to address your girlfriend’s parents asMr. that they Mrs. Jones (or whatever). Definitely, you should speak to your girlfriend ahead of the time find out, for example, if your mother and father have different last names. Also, if she has brothers and sisters, find out what their names are. For under the pressure of first meeting people, it’s very easy to forget their names, even though they just have just told you five minutes ago.

Also, remember that her parents are older than you are, to please matter how mature you are, they are going to consider So make real adults and they’re always going to consider you close than an adult. Be humble and patient when this happens. Furthermore, talk respectfully about other people when in your can currently presence. If you disrespect others, they will assume that disrespect them.

At first, things may that you formal, but they will begin to loosen up as they like You may you more. Let them tell you when they want to be treated Before you. If you try to push for a closer relationship, and more informality, than they’re ready for, you will end up you hurting your cause.



3.What should I wear to meet her parents?

When you first meet your girlfriend’s parents, you can consider it a kind of job interview. You are applying for the job of “parent-approved boyfriend”. There are two rules you should follow.

The first rule is to dress to impress. Just as you should dress up for a job interview, in the same way, when you meet your girlfriend’s parents for the first time, you want dress above and beyond your usual style. But don’t make it seem like you spend your life savings on your wardrobe. Just go through your closet and see what looks really nice and is likely to make them think well of you. If you have nothing, borrow something from family or friends. If they really like you, they will eventually start buying for you the kind of clothes they think you should wear.

The second rule is that you need to dress appropriately for the occasion. If you are first meeting your girlfriend’s parents in their home, usually you can just dress nicely in slacks and a dress shirt or even a sweater. However, T-shirts, jeans and sandals are not a good choice. On the other hand, if you’re meeting them at church, you should dress better, possibly even wearing a suit and tie. But, if you’re going to meet them for some kind of outdoor activity, like hiking or hunting, wear durable clothes that can get dirty. Just don’t dress like a homeless person.

Even after the first meeting, continue to dress to impress. While you want her parents to know and trust the “real you”, just remember that cut-off shorts, torn t-shirts, and floppy sandals do not inspire happy thoughts of their daughter’s future. Your ultimate goal is that your girlfriend’s parents will support your relationship, so make the effort to create an image of health, wealth and security.

4. How to make your girlfriend’s parents like you

If in order for you to get your girlfriend’s parents to like you, you’re going to have to do some research on them, and, of course, your girlfriend is the best person to ask for advice. Obviously, as mentioned before, you should find out their names and the best way to address them in a formal way. Secondly, you want to find out something of their backgrounds before you ever meet them. You want to know what they do for a living, what their hobbies are, what important life events have they faced, what particular habits do they have, and everything they really love or really hate. Additionally, one of the best ways to respect somebody is to listen to them and learn from them. If you are FAT (faithful, available and teachable), every parent you like you.

Next, you want to show that you care for your girlfriend’s parents and there are four ways to show your appreciation: gifts, praise, service, and quality time. I generally I don’t recommend giving big gifts because most people are more pleased by the thought behind the gift rather than the value of the gift itself. And you can continue to give small gifts throughout the relationship. Ask your girlfriend what her parents like or just look around at the stuff they collect in their house. Typical small gifts are books, flowers, nicknacks, sports and regional mementos, fresh foods, and wine.

But gifts are not a requirement and some people are not really impressed with them, so giving them gifts may not work in every case and can actually make your girlfriend’s parents feel suspicious that you’re trying to buy their favor. Fortunately, there’s a second way to show that you care for your girlfriend’s parents and that is to praise them. When we praise people, we show that we value what they say and do. The best way to praise somebody is to find something that they value that doesn’t usually get a lot of praise. Thus, when you praise your girlfriend’s father’s New York Yankee bobble-head collection, he will really appreciate you because your praise will stand out.

But, again, the weak point of praise is that it’s only words. People can learn to fake praise very easily. So the third way to share your care for your girlfriend’s parents is to serve them. Especially because you’re younger and more energetic, you will have many opportunities to help them out around the house and yard. Activities such as mowing the grass, cleaning the roof gutters, and fixing broken furniture are some of the many ways you can serve both according to your ability and according to their needs. Notice that service is something that’s a lot harder too fake because you must spend your time and energy helping her parents.

The final way to show that you care is by spending quality time with your girlfriend and her parents, during weekends, holidays and vacations. One of the best ways to earn the favor of your girlfriend’s father is to join him on one of his hobbies. If he likes hunting, go hunting with him. If you’ve never hunted before, it will be very obvious to your girlfriend’s father. Even so, he will still be happy that you’re trying to learn his hobby and you’re making the effort to do something with him. In the same way, you can spend time with your girlfriend and her mother doing whatever they like to do, such as baking cookies and shopping for Christmas gifts. Spending quality time together is the perfect way to maintain a strong relationship with your girlfriend’s parents.

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