23 Dating Tips for Teenage Girls

1. Go slow

2. Fear is normal

3. Incompetence is normal

4. Selfishness is normal

5. Don’t do things that make you uncomfortable

6. Time Boundaries

7. Physical Boundaries

8. Emotional Boundaries

9. Aggressive boys lack self-discipline

10. Learn to say no

11. Don’t challenge aggressive boys

12. Aggressive boys can change direction quickly

13. Introverted boys lack confidence

14. Give introverts extra time

15. Don’t challenge introverted boys

16. Introverts have trouble letting go

17. Dealing with your parents

18. Dealing with his parents

19. Dealing with teachers

20. Dealing with the Police

21. Dealing with Friends

22. Dealing with Enemies

23. Dealing with Study



General Tips

1. Go slow
This is the same dating advice for almost every relationship: go slow. When you’re young, you experience things very intensely and since it’s the first time for your dating experiences, it is easy to get caught up in the rush of excitement. But those of us who have been around for a while, know that it’s usually a better idea to slow down a relationship rather than to speed it up.

So don’t be in a hurry to form a strong emotional attachment to someone and don’t be in a hurry to get in a strong physical relationship with somebody because many times these relationships end poorly. There’s a slippery slope of dating vulnerability and when you’re involved with another person, it can be difficult and seemingly impossible to reverse things have already been done. At least if you go slowly, you have time to make adjustments or call it quits before going too far.

2. Fear is normal
Since this is for teenage girls, I’m going to assume that you don’t have years of experience with dating and I want to encourage you that it’s normal to be afraid when you’re dating especially when you’re new at dating. In fact, adults get nervous before they go on dates, particularly first dates. So although it can be very fearful and even dreadful to go through the dating scene, if you follow my dating advice, you’ll get through it just like everybody else does.

3. Incompetence is normal
I laugh as I say this, but incompetence is normal for dating. As a teenager, you may have dated other teenagers, but none of you have enough experience to be very good at dating, or to be very good at eating at a restaurant together, or very good about kissing and all those other things. You really don’t know who you are, so how can you know what you are going to be like in a date and how can you know what your dating partner is going to be like?

But as you get more and more experience dating, you get more competent and you’ll be able to go through dates more and more smoothly. Things will become generally more comfortable and more enjoyable. Keep a sense of humor because your date doesn’t know what he’s doing either. If you can overlook or laugh off his mistakes, you will have much more enjoyable dates.

4. Selfishness is normal
Most of the young men you’re going to date are incredibly immature and selfish, and that’s normal. Part of growing up to become a man is learning to sacrifice for others. Hopefully, you will recognize that you also are full of selfishness. It’s not just the guy that’s the problem; your selfishness is also part of the problem. You may wonder why how two people who like each other can have so many relationship problems. This is because you’re both selfish and incompetent. For teenagers, that’s normal and successful dating is one of the ways that you will help you mature.


Know your boundaries

5. Don’t do things that make you uncomfortable
I have this same advice for men and women of all ages: don’t go beyond your comfort level in a relationship. If you start to feel somebody’s pushing you to do something that you don’t want to do, your mind and your body will react in a negative way. This is a clear sign that you’re not ready for what they want you to do. And the same way, you might be pushing a young man to do something he’s not comfortable with. You need to know how to recognize the signs that someone is uncomfortable around you and you need to respect their boundaries as well.

6. Time Boundaries
How much time you spend together is a very important factor in a dating relationship. That’s because, as teenagers, you are not the masters of your own fate, you’re not the captains of your soul, yet. You have to respond to many different Masters. And all of them have their own ideas of what you should be doing instead of dating.

It can be tempting to spend as much time as possible being with this person you care so much about and not paying attention to class work, sports, homework, chores clubs and various school activities. But you need to learn how to have a balance in your life’ you need to have limits on how much time you spend with your date, how much time you spend talking and texting each other.

7. Physical Boundaries
You need to have a clear physical boundary and in relationship; you need to know before things get complicated if are you going to let the guy kiss you, if are you going to kiss them, if you are going to let him touch you all over your body and if you are going to go further than that. And vice wersa. It is traditional that the young man is going to try to get you to go beyond your boundaries, try to get you to surrender to him. I recommend that you again go slowly on this because there are so many women that have gotten physical very fast and then discovered that the guy doesn’t really care about you as long as he’s getting sex. And that leaves the girls feeling pretty terrible.

8. Emotional Boundaries
You need to know your emotional boundaries as well. This is because most teenage relationships don’t last and so the more commitment you put into a relationship now, the more painful it’s going to be when it breaks up. And it probably will break up because both of you are selfish and incompetent at dating because you don’t have that experience yet.

Now when you get older you’ll have a lot of experience; but if you ignore my advice, that experience will be filled with the pain from past broken relationships. And this is why I give the advice to go slow because in spite of your best intentions dating usually don’t work out very well when you’re young.


Dating aggressive boys

9. Aggressive boys lack self-discipline
Aggressive boys can be very fun and exciting to date but they have a major weakness. And that is that aggressive young men usually lack self-discipline. If they can learn to discipline themselves, they can become very successful in life and that you can play a part in helping them become more mature.


10. Learn to say no
The best way to help an aggressive young man become mature is by enforcing your boundaries. This will encourage the young man to discipline himself. He’ll have to restrain his basic impulses and think in a much deeper way how to get things in a way that’s acceptable instead of acting like a caveman. And so you shouldn’t be afraid or ashamed to tell a young man your dating “no”. In fact, you’re actually helping him grow more mature in the long run.

11. Don’t challenge aggressive boys
You do have to be careful when you tell someone “no”. You don’t want to challenge a young man or threaten him especially if he is aggressive. Because he’s not mature yet, he is likely going to feel angry and angry young men do some very bad things to girls. So you need to find polite and sensitive ways to tell an aggressive young man that he can’t have everything he wants or even just tell him he’s wrong about something.

12. Aggressive boys can change direction quickly
Aggressive young men can change directions very quickly; they can be 100% one way and then the wind changes and they’re going a hundred percent the opposite way. This week they’re committed to going into the NBA, next week they are destined to be a rap singer. If you break up with an aggressive young man, he may promise to get you back, but then two weeks he’ll have another girlfriend to replace you. That’s just the changeable nature of a young man full of energy what but lacking wisdom. When a girl acts that way, we call it being fickle.


Dating introverted boys

13. Introverted boys lack confidence
I myself was an introverted boy and I guarantee you that they lack confidence. And that means they’re not likely going to pursue you very directly. You might, in the end, need to prompt them for a date or even ask them out directly. You have to be more active when dating an introvert, but there’s a lot of good qualities in quiet young men. And if through dating or even through friendship, you can help them acquire confidence in themselves; then they will likely grow up to become very successful men.

14. Give introverts extra time
Introverted young men tend to be slow starters. They tend to be slow to express how they feel, and slow to act on their feelings. You make it begin to wonder if they have any feelings for you at all. Be patient, you need to give them time to develop the confidence to express themselves without fear. Also, you might want to take the lead in expressing physical affection. Just remember to respect his boundaries.

15. Don’t challenge introverted boys
Just as you shouldn’t challenge an aggressive young man, you also should not challenge an introverted young man, though for different reasons. If you do challenge an introvert, he’ll probably get quieter; he’ll crawl back into his shell and it’ll set the relationship back quite a lot. He may turn very cold towards you. Instead of threatening him, find a feminine and polite way to correct him.

16. Introverts have trouble letting go
Introverted young men can especially have trouble letting go in a relationship that’s not working very well. You might want to break up and the young man just keeps hanging around; he keeps watching you from a distance and acting passive-aggressive up close. Just as he’s slow to get started emotionally, he’s also slow to let go. You need to be sensitive that it’s going to take him longer to adjust to going back to friends or perhaps going back to being a nobody.


Dealing with authority

17. Dealing with your parents
When you’re beginning your dating life it is very important that you deal well with your parents. Let’s assume that your parents care deeply about you and that they want what’s best for you. They may not always be right but you need to respect them and the best practice is to be transparent with them. Let them know what you’re going through, let them help you work through any problems.

The worst thing you can do is rebel against your parents or to run away into the arms of your boyfriend and try to replace their love through a man. That puts unreasonable expectations on the person you’re dating and usually, everybody’s going to end up unhappy. It’s much better if you can learn to negotiate with your parents and work out a situation that all of you can agree ,.

18. Dealing with his parents
You not only have to deal with your parents, you’ll often have to deal with his parents. If you’re dating another teenager, parents will also be concerned about you and him together. It’s very natural for parents to feel that one of you is not good enough for the other. If you follow my advice about going slow, you will have time to win them over; perhaps you can improve yourself enough that they’ll see how worthy you now are. Remember the story of Romeo and Juliet? That’s classified as a tragedy, don’t make it a model for your life.

19. Dealing with teachers
As a teenager, you’re going to spend a lot of time in school. And therefore you’re going to have to , a lot of time pleasing the teachers. , and But definitely try not to allow your feelings for your young man to create any kind of conflict with any of your teachers because they another form of authority and you don’t want to be under their thumb. Also, don’t date your teachers and keep your crushes to yourself.

20. Dealing with the Police
Unfortunately, young people make mistakes and they do things that they will later regret. So it’s quite likely that you are going to have deal with the police, even on your date. The best thing to do with the police is to follow their directions and do what they say. That’s the way you escape with the least amount of damage. Don’t stand up for your rights or your boyfriend’s rights; don’t try to talk back to the police. They have the authority to ruin your whole day.


Dealing with school

21. Dealing with Friends
School can be such a small fishbowl. It seems that you can’t keep any secrets from anybody. You’re going to have to deal with your friends who will try to influence your dating relationship. Some of them will tell you one thing and others will tell you something different. Remember that they’re just a selfish, incompetent, and afraid as you are. In the world of teenage girls, there are no experts on dating. So taking dating advice from your friends is more risky than it seems.

And some of your friends will be jealous; they may have their eye on the same guy and they’re envious that you got him first. Or maybe you are trying to go out with a guy that they’ve broken up with and they are still not really over the past relationship. Plus, there could be other guys who are jealous they wanted to go out with you and there aren’t happy you didn’t pick them. All of this is inescapable but if you will learn to be graceful and polite; and you avoid being a “mean girl”, you can minimize the awkwardness and the discomfort that involves dating people in a very small ecosystem.

22. Dealing with Enemies
High School is famous, not just for friends, but for enemies. In fact, girls can become the worst enemies of all. Women can have intense and long-lasting conflicts; they can become very dirty fighters: destroying reputations as well as destroying people’s mental health.

I counseled one young woman who had been in a relationship with a young man back in junior high school. One of her friends was jealous, so she used all of her social and political skills to destroy the reputation and the mental health of the first girl. In the end, the girl I was counseling had to transfer to a new school and lost almost a whole academic year due to mental health issues. So my advice is to be careful; sometimes you can dating is not for the weak.

23. Dealing with Study

Remember that you are still a student and your primary responsibility as a student is to study and get good grades. It’s very important that you discipline yourself and that you learn to prepare for the future and work towards creating a better path for yourself. And that means you need to study, do well in school, and do your best to get into University where you can pursue a career.

This advice doesn’t work for everybody, but just remember school is the time where you invest in yourself. Don’t overly focus on short term relationships that will not last. A successful person must balance her social needs and their academic needs.

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2 Responses

  1. Salomon says:

    Hi. there
    I would wishes you had written this 30 years earlier 🙂
    This is a great article helping young people.
    You write from your heart and it’s so good advice like rebel against your parents this is a super advice and I am sure this will help many to go the right way.
    Thank you for your great article.
    Best wishes
    S. A

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